I love this

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not here. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glint on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there;I did not die

Author unknown

Mutzkis on Parade

Bloor St awash with mutzkis of every kind, hairy and small or tall and smooth most wearing sweaters or t shirts to fight the bitter cold.
First day at the gym yesterday. A hard rain's a gonna fall.
Clambered up on the stair climber; it's a brute. Spent time on the treadmill; good to start and warm up and really worked on the reciprocal machine or whatever they call it. That's a workout. Thank God for the tvs on every machine to distract one from the agony.

What's Wrong with Veterinary Medicine

I don't know of any other industry or profession where an individual can be "executed" before the trial--before the facts are elucidated and someone has a chance for a defence.
What has happened to this profession?
Another DVM I work with illustrated it quite nicely today in Bolton. She came in with her daughter. She has 2 kids; a boy and a girl both under the age of 16, I think. The girl is older. The boy expressed interest in becoming a veterinarian. His mother, a classmate of mine, actively discouraged him from even thinking of it but she encourages her daughter. Why is it okay for her daughter but not her son, I asked? She said: because the profession doesn't pay enough...it's okay for her daughter but not for him.
It's been reduced to a service industry; nursing with a title. And even the denizens of the profession think that way.
When did I write this? Probably sometime in the summer when things were tense and clients were being cantankerous.

 

Money Mart

How do I hate thee, S. Leblanc.
Blonde kid thinks he's a hotshot, thinks he has the world by the balls but he doesn't. He doesn't realize how really stupid he is. He says: "Money Mart helps poor people". Duh. Money Mart helps poor people. The words are hanging in the air like a big neon sign that says "hit me I must be stupid".
He wants me to pay the last 30 bucks of an 80 dollar service charge on cheques that I bounced because he cashed them 3 weeks too late. A mishap I take 75% responsibility for. Gladly giving him a replacement cheque even before he knew they had bounced with the service charge covered. And he wants to continue doing business with them. When he could cash his cheques at no charge on the frontside of Woodbine. Gotta be an angle somewhere for him. The audacity fairly takes my breath away.
And he says; I owe him an extra head a week for putting the bridle on the filly on occasion when he gets to the barn and I am somewhere else, around the corner or at my car. I give him the extra 15 bucks not because I owe him but because I wanted to for a job well done. He's a professional after all; always should be willing to put out his best effort. He thinks its to ensure he puts out his best effort. Nonsense.
So he wants me to give him cash or make the cheque out to Money Mart instead of him. Not in this lifetime or the next I tell him. Why he asks. Because of the principle I say. I want nothing to do with Money Mart; they steal from poor people and are barely legal; laundering money for all kinds of nefarious businesses. He says "fuck the principle". So I say; fuck yourself. I will never give up my principles for a punk like this.
I think his angle is to take the replacement cheque and cash that too; thereby making a 150 percent profit on 2 weeks of work and he'll fuck Money Mart. Hoping they will come after me. I can't believe this. It's the only logical explanation for what he's doing.
The whole thing makes me sick and is ruining my last few days of racing. Worse still; so long as the cheque has not gone through it hangs in the balance on my account and I have to keep extra vigilant about it. Checking it online every day which is a pain in the ass.
Steve says "fuck that guy". He doesn't want me to have any relationship with MM either. If he can't cash a cheque in an appropriate time frame; fuck him.

Footnote:
Cheques have been cashed and the whole sordid thing is behind me.
On to the future and more control over my life and my money. I'll force myself to confront what I should when I should and keep everything neat and tidy.

The End is Near

Delirium at the races. Everyone is in a Christmas-y mood. Because they see the end is near. Just 2 racing days away to sleep, relaxation (hopefully) and the no stress world of watching horses languishing on the farm. Enforced rest. Nathan W. the young hotshot from Lonestar is planning a cross-country trek to see his 25 or so horses of which he will choose 10 or so that he will bring up to Toronto. Got the world by the balls he thinks. Young, funny, charming as hell and a cowboy too, got it made. Had his Transam side by side with her huge gray Chrysler both cars running with headlights blaring beside the Jake Howard Centre. They were both in her big roomy car with a Mac open, screen flaring on her lap. All the bells and whistles. Splayed across the roomy front seat.
Windy and cold; the weather is turning to winter. I'm glad I don't ride horses for a living. Doolan Armstrong is my exercise boy's real name but they call him Tiger. Not sure why because he's quiet and elegant and says please. "She went well, did everything right, changed all her leads on her own, please" he said when he came in from her 2 minute lick which she did in precisely 15 second panels. The filly is great, out of her mind with the joy of training. Just wish the season wasn't over for her she's doing so well. Now to Cold River in Grand Valley to spend the winter in a wind swept hilly expanse.
At the races, once again no opportunity save one to talk with him who matters most. A few minutes alone by the front window but I was busy with Gail T's letter to C and C. Fraser. A wave and a hello and he was gone.